The Gas We Pass

Every Sunday night the Old Hens get together to play cards, Last Sunday night it was my turn to entertain them. The oldest lady is 91, the next is 89, the next 88. I am the baby and I am 85. During our card games we chat, snack, laugh and laugh some more. Somehow the topic that night was passing gas. Everyone does it you know. The 89 year old whom I am sure has never said
the word fart wanted to know more about the subject. I brought a book I have, called "The Gas We Pass: The Story of Farts ( it is a children's book". She started reading it to the rest of us. I got the giggles as she looked like the Queen of England reading to her adoring public. She had to use the word fart several times and stumbled over the word but managed to finish the book. She announced it very educational. By this time everyone was hooting and hollering and bringing up stories probably best forgotten. I had 4 boys so I was an expert on what a stinker was. One lady told how her son would light a match if his buddy let one go. Evidently if you are close enough to his hinder you can see a small flame.
My friend the 88 year old announced they called it flatulence, another called them toot toots, a former daughter in law told me "girls never fart". I wish that were true. I believe I will call them trumps as they do in jolly old England. Apparently they know Donald Trump. Now there is a gas bag. Or maybe I will be an all American and call them FARTS.

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