Church and coffee

As told by E: I don't go to church much. Once every five years, maybe, just to try one on, see what I might be missing. I like the ones that encourage taking your cup of coffee into church. If you're alone, hanging onto your favorite cup is like having a friend with you. I like to sit in the back, but not the way back. Those pews fill up with people with kids. Distracting. You spend your whole time smiling at some two year old looking over their father's shoulder. Or picking up their toys. I have a hard enough time paying attention to an entire service. My mind wanders to the ceiling, the stained glass windows, watching other people. If I can tell you one main point from a sermon, you're lucky. Sometimes there's a breakfast afterwards or a luncheon with a free will offering. I tried the luncheon once. Everybody was smiling at me and offering me more cake and being so nice. When I got home, I realized I still had the $1 price tag on the butt of my jeans that I had bought at a yard sale.